It is Spring, and that can only mean one thing. BUGS. Lots of creepy, crawly, fly-y bugs. All over the place. Now most of the time I’m fine with bugs. I might even like them a little (unless they dive bomb me and get caught in my hair. Because then? I scream and flail like Michael Jackson with my hair on fire). Tonight while I was sitting in the bathroom (yeah, I was peeing, but I thought it would sound nicer if I said I was ‘sitting’ in the bathroom) when I saw a huge, scary, hairy looking spider on the wall. Normally I would just let her go about her business, because I’m all down with spiders since Charlotte’s Web has been on heavy rotation in our house, but this spider was not friendly looking. I reached over and crushed that spider with a wad of toilet paper and said DIE. Okay, I said some other stuff, but I don’t want you to think I’m so desperate for conversation that I actually talked to a spider before I smashed it.
Changing gears….
BJ has a horrible rash covering 75% of his body. I’m pretty sure it’s eczema, and we’ll find out for sure when I take him to the dermatologist on Friday. The past few weeks have consisted of me spending hours online researching lotions and creams and then ordering said creams and applying said creams only to listen to my son scream and writhe in pain because said creams feel like I’m applying acid to his skin. *palm meet forehead* The other lovely thing we’re dealing with is peeling feet. His feet are peeling, cracking and bleeding, and his new hobby is to remove the peeling skin and, OMG I can’t believe I’m saying this because I know one day he’ll kill me, but he EATS the skin. And then I YELL at him because OMG it’s so disgusting. Like 10X more disgusting than eating boogers. I’m assuming, at least.
Dear Lord, please let the dermatologist have some answers because I cannot deal with writhing and screaming and skin eating for another day.
Changing gears yet again…..
Today Mia and I spent the day in the big city running big city errands. Like going to SUPER Target, which Mia thinks is SUPER, eating at Chipotle, which Mia is not at all impressed with (she gets that from her dad. DUMB), and getting groceries at the Mecca of all grocery stores: Whole Foods. I could seriously live there. I’ve looked into it, but they seriously do not have room. Have you seen how tiny the freaking aisles are?
So when we were eating at Chipotle…well, I was eating….Mia started making eyes at this man at the soda fountain. I swear to God she actually blushed when he busted her looking at him, and then she looked at me like OMG, Mom. This went on the entire time I scarfed down my burrito bowl and she totally ignored everything except the chips and guac. Before the man left, he stopped by our table and introduced himself to Mia and told her she was beautiful. I almost fell out of my chair because she actually batted her eye lashes at him and did that chin to shoulder with eyes raised look. SHE IS THREE.
I am in trouble.
