From the backseat

Sometimes when you're on a 2,600 mile (roundtrip) road trip, the natives get restless and you do crazy things like handing over your very expensive DSLR camera. And because of those sometimes you get little surprises like these.





I'm just now getting around to going through the rest of the 600+ images from our road trip to Florida. More to come.

I am happy

Oh so, happy because Melissa and Jen (one of my awesome new Twitter friends and fellow Sister in Shrinkage) presented me with this lovely award! Thank you, hookers!!!! MWAH!

As always, there are instructions:

1. Copy the image and display it on your blog.
2. List 10 things that make you happy.
3. Try to do at least one of them today.
4. Pass on the award to 10 bloggers who brighten your day.

So here are the 10 things that make me happy!

1. My children. Each and everyday I marvel at their existence. They both have amazing personalities and are truly a miracle.
2. My husband. He spends his weeks in Houston working hard so we can have an amazing life. I don't think I tell him enough how much I appreciate him.
3. My brand new iPhone. It's amazing. I pretty much make out with it all the time.
4. The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans. I cannot begin to describe the fulfillment I get from that site. Not only am I improving myself on a daily basis, but I'm watching so many other women do the same. It's a haven for support and love.
5. Food. Yes, food makes me happy. Not necessarily the consumption, but the discovery of new recipes and healthier options. I love sharing my knowledge with others, especially my children.
6. Seeing my children make good choices. With food, with friends, with life. It validates me. It makes me feel like my husband and I are doing something really right. Really important.
7. Running. I love to run. I love to workout. It makes me happy because 1 year ago, I didn't have this love, and I certainly wasn't this happy.
8. My friends. I have some of the best friends in the whole wide world and web.
9. My new end tables. We just got them, and they make me SO happy.
10. Cuckoo clocks. I love them. They are complicated, and beautiful, and they have a little bird who jumps out and tweets at you. How could you not be happy with one of those hanging around? If I could only teach that little bird how to wash the dishes, we'd be golden.

And here are 10 bloggers I'd like to present with the Happy Award, because they make me happy:

1. Lisa
2. Amanda
3. April
4. Brooke
5. Nancy
6. Ann
7. Kirsten
8. Tiffany
9. Audrey
10. Karena

You totally need to visit all of them right now, because they will make you happy, too!

Timber.......

Our Thanksgiving was perfect. (Well, except when the glass fell out of the cabinet and broke in the bowl where I was mixing the stuffing, but we won't talk about that. Or the fact that I had to use Stove Top stuffing. Or even that I owned a box of it. Ahem.) The meal was lovely, and it was just our sweet little family of 4. So wonderful.

On Friday, we made the trek to the Christmas tree farm. The weather was a little cooler than usual this year (meaning it was BELOW 70 degrees), so the kids actually got to wear some "seasonal" duds, and actually looked the part!

The tree farm has so many fun things to do. These old fashioned water pumps with little rubber ducks are always a favorite.

We had an amazing time searching for the perfect tree.

BJ found a tree he deemed PERFECT! All 10 and a half feet of it. And yes, that's the one we bought!

We did some maybe-this-will-be-THE-Christmas-card-photo shots. They didn't really work out, but the outtakes are priceless!

It was a perfect day.

Saturday we decorated our beautiful tree. It looked amazing.

This morning, as I was snuggled up in my bed relishing the thought of sleeping in, Brian came in the room and mumbled something. Or maybe it just sounded like he was mumbling because I had the pillow on my head? What I finally heard, after he yanked the pillow off my head and shouted, was that our perfectly decorated 10 and a half foot tree had fallen over. As in on the floor. More precisely on the ottoman. And it just happened to land smack dab on top of my Mac.

There were lots of broken ornaments.

Oy.

As you can see, my Mac is still working, but OMG if it wasn't, I think I would have joined a convent and taken a vow of silence.

Okay, that's a lie. I would have cussed. A whole lot.

real life adventures - Atlanta, Georgia style, part 2

Remember a couple weeks ago when I was in Atlanta? Well, this post has turned into Atlanta, part 2!

Before we left for Tennessee, we still had half a day to kick around in Atlanta, so the kids and I headed downtown. We parked and walked through the Olympic park, which is so beautiful. A huge green space with playgrounds, nice cozy nooks for sitting and relaxing, and beautiful reflection pools. There was also a splash pad that was crazy-busy, and my kids were disappointed that we didn't get to try it out!







After we walked around the park, I asked BJ was he most wanted to do, and he chose visiting Georgia's state capitol building. It's hard to miss the beautiful golden dome in the Atlanta skyline, and with his thirst for knowledge and love for history, it was sure to be an adventure!

We headed off on foot for the capitol building, and saw some sites along the way.

I loved these red doors so much. If there hadn't been construction on the sidewalk in front of them, I would have gotten closer and taken lots more shots of them.




Looking up at the inside of the dome

We learned that the dome is covered in gold leaf and it has to be replaced every 30-35 years. If you were to take all the gold off and wad it up, it would be the size of a soccer ball and weigh 900 ounces. BJ wanted to know how much it would be worth, and the guide told him about 35,000 bucks!

The architecture was amazing!


At the end of the tour, we were taken inside the General Assembly Room for some Q&A. Of course, BJ peppered our guide with questions about the architecture, the chandelier, and whether or not the legislators ate lunch at their wooden desks. Oh, and he also asked if they used the 2 fireplaces in the room (which they don't anymore).

After the tour, we grabbed lunch at Ted's (Turner) Montana Grill and it was fabulous! An awesome restaurant with a wonderful twist on Eco-Friendliness. Think drinking straws made out of recycled materials! As a matter of fact, the restaurant is 99% plastic free! All this, plus they had amazingly huge picture windows and great natural lighting.

After lunch, we walked back to our rental car and headed to the airport to pick up daddy. He was flying in to meet up with us for the Tennesee leg of our trip.

Click here to read Part 1 of our Atlanta trip!

Stay tuned for more from our trip. We did alot of really fun, family friendly things in Tennessee!

You can see the complete set of photos from the trip here!

You Capture - Joy

I'm becoming that kid in high school who always turns in her assignment a day late. Yep, that's me. But I don't have to worry about points being deducted at this stage in my life!

This week's Joy Capture jumped out at me as I was scanning through Picassa looking for a contender. Nothing says Joy like the face of a sweet dog getting a nice, thorough massage from her biggest fan, Amanda! Do you see all that dog hair? Yeah, I pretty much had enough dog hair on the floor and couch to weave a couple of baskets!

This is my dog Molly. She's an American Dingo, or Carolina Dog, and is 10 years old. She's the best dog EVER. Promise.




To see more Joyful captures, head on over to I Should Be Folding Laundry and take a look around!

Thanks for stopping by and commenting! I appreciate each and every one of y'all!

Table Topic Tuesday

Today's question is:

Who do you sorely miss?

I asked BJ this morning over bagels and cream cheese.

M: BJ, who do you miss so much?
BJ: I miss daddy so much.
M: Why?
BJ: Because he has to go to work in Houston.
M: Are you happy when he comes home on Friday?
BJ: Very happy. I'm so happy it burstes out of my eyeballs.

Yeah, me too, son.

I sorely miss my grandma. She passed away suddenly in 2002 at the tender age of 64. As I said, it was sudden. I was actually in Las Vegas and Brian had plans to propose to me at the Bellagio, but I got a phone call saying my grandma had died. I can't even describe the pain and heartache I had as I scrambled to book a flight out of Vegas to Dallas so I could be there with my family ASAP.

My grandma was my mentor. She was an amazing woman, indeed. I'd spent the better part of my life living with her and I believe that she help make me the woman I am today. We talked and emailed almost everyday, since I was living in Houston and she in Dallas. She was generally the first person I called with news, questions, and just to talk. She gave the best advice, and she always new how to handle difficult situations with grace and poise. She wrote my first resume, she gave me my love of travel, she instilled in me the importance of keep my skills sharp, and never giving up on a dream. She taught me about fashion, mixing and matching clothes, good shoes, skin care, and manners. Her mantra was it was better to buy one really nice thing than a bunch of not so nice stuff - you get what you pay for. She was a fabulous cook, decorator, shopper - she could really find the deals.

She left me at a time when I thought I needed her most. As I planned my wedding and awaited the birth of my first child, I often cried because she was not there to share all of the wonderfulness with me. She was the glue that kept our family together.

I miss her sorely, every single day. I look for signs from her. When someone walks by wearing her perfume, I pause and smile. I want so badly to know she's still here with me. That she sees my children. That she's proud of the choices I've made, the woman I am.

I am, and always will be her munchkin.

So tell me, who do you sorely miss?

Wii-kend Wrap

I have been a total blogger slacker. So I've decided to put together a bulleted list so you'll know what I've been up to. You know, kind of like she does.

• On Friday, I had hot lunch duty at BJ's school, meaning I had to cook for everyone! Because the school is so small (20 kids total + 5 teachers), they don't have a cafeteria, so everyone brings their lunch everyday. The parents split all the Fridays up and provide a hot meal for everyone to break up the monotony of sandwiches and leftovers. It's fun, but it's a daunting task.
• I finally broke down and got a Wii and I'm so glad I did! WOW! The best part is the Wii Fit. I think my son likes it more than me! He did the long distance run today--2 miles! I was in awe of his 5 year old stamina. I also wanted to pop him for making it look so easy. Silly boy. So yeah, the Wii is a big hit in our house.
• Yesterday we registered BJ for t-ball. I'm sorry, 5 year olds with metal bats just makes me nervous. I was also glad that t-ball doesn't require a cup. That would have been an interesting concept to explain.
• After the above mentioned t-ball registration, I threw out the suggestion that we take a little drive. We ended up in Eagle Pass, Texas, a border town. BJ was enthralled with the fact that just across that scary looking fence was a totally different country. I'm pretty sure we were being profiled by the Border Patrol as we sat in the parking lot next to the river and changed Mia's diaper. A bonus is that we got some BONUS Mexican food - on our side of the border. Mama was long overdue. On the way home, we got to go through a border checkpoint and 5 seconds after the interior of our car was inspected BJ spouts off, "it's a good thing we don't have any drugs, huh?" THANK GOD the window was already up. Yeah, we're already harping on the fact that drugs are bad, and we might have mentioned that lots of drugs come from Mexico....
• I totally forgot my camera when we took the above mentioned adventure. I honestly didn't think t-ball registration was worthy of toting it along...
• This morning I got up, made some coffee, packed my camera up and took a drive. Everyday on our way to BJ's school, I wish I had more time to stop and take pictures. The scenery is amazing. So today, I took the time to capture that scenery and I'm very happy with the results!
• The Super Bowl is okay. I don't really watch much football these days, although once upon a time, I was a huge Cowboys fan. Shhhh. Don't tell my husband. He hates the Cowboys and totally thinks he's brought me to the other side (Texans). So back to the Super Bowl, I'm really enjoying the snippets I'm catching, and the commercials are pretty decent this year. The halftime show? A little scary. The Boss was really working it, but I think he should have had an oxygen tank handy. Shit, I was out of breath just watching his antics.
• Well, the kids are in bed, the husband's on his way back to Houston, and I have lots of work to catch up on and a little Wii Fit to do! So I'll leave you with a few pictures from my real life adventure this morning.

Hill Country Sunrise

The ball's still in your court, dad

I haven't spoken with my dad in 3 years. Wow, just typing that out feels strange. Kind of embarrassing, too. A little sad, even. Lots of emotions attached to this subject. I also want to mention that I've been working on this post for months. I've written, rewritten, added and subtracted many, many times. I just haven't had the nerve to hit publish until now.

While I don't really make New Year's resolutions, I do like to have a handful of goals in mind when I embark into the new year. This year one of those goals is to make peace with myself. To accept the fact that my family is severly dysfunctional. I don't want to fix it, although it would probably make life nicer, but I do want to learn to quit obsessing and finding ways to blame myself. I think blogging about it will somehow validate my feelings. At least I'm getting it off my chest, right?

If I have bad memories of something, I tend to just block them out. I can't remember chunks of my early childhood for this very reason. Not because they were necessarily horrible, I wasn't abused or anything, but they weren't great. It's hard for me to hold a grudge because, honestly, I probably won't remember what the argument was about one week later. Plus I have a really hard time holding people accountable. I'm kinda a pushover and a fingers-in-the-ears-la-la-la-la-the-world-is-a-happy-place type of person.


Maybe it's because I'm a child of divorce. A divorce that happened when I was so young, I don't even have memories of my parents being married. I flip-flopped between homes, families, parents, grandparents, aunt & uncles, cousins. I feel like I've spent most of my life trying to make people happy. I am quick to forgive because the thought of being mad or having someone mad at me just makes me uneasy. I'm a glass half full kinda girl.

So lately, the fact that I haven't spoken with my dad in 3 years has really been bothering me. I think about it almost everday, but lately it's been heavy. It seems silly, assinine, ridiculous and so totally frustrating that we've gotten to this. You're probably wondering why and how we got here. Well to be honest, I almost can't remember. But then I asked my husband, who has the recall of an elephant, and he refreshed my memory.


It's not ugly or sinister or mean, just alot of hurt feelings and stubborness and disrespect. Mostly stubborness, you see, because my dad is the most stubborn person I know, besides me. Stubborn like a mule. And when we go head to head, no one wins. It turns into a who-can-be-stubborn-est-the-longest, and I'm-not-going-to-give-in-because-I'm-not-wrong fight.

It all started on Memorial Day weekend 2004. We spent that weekend with my family at a rented house in the hill country. My brother was there with his girlfriend (and her newborn baby - my brother is not the father), my dad and stepmom, and me, Brian and BJ (then 8 months old). We'd had many similar weekends that were great. As a matter of fact, my adult relationship with my dad was the best it had ever been. Some things were said that weekend and feelings were hurt. We all left kinda wishing we'd never been there, but I had no idea it would lead us where we are today.

After that weekend, my dad and I didn't speak for several months and it really hurt. My husband saw how sad I was and decided (without me knowing) to pay my dad a visit when he was in Dallas on business. It seemed that things were on the mend. We got together for my dad's 50th birthday in August, but something still wasn't quite right. Egos were still bruised. But we tried again and went up for Christmas. Still not quite right. Brian and I totally felt like outsiders. The worst was the feeling that my son was treated as an outsider.

You see, my brother's girlfriend's child was part of the family. I had no problem at all with that either. But it seemed like there was some heavy favoritism going on, and not towards my son. It was kinda like someone had rewound to my childhood and was now trying to making my son live it. And I'm sorry, but I'm the adult. I'm in charge of my son. And I'm not going to let him feel like he's less important or less loved.EVER.

After Christmas we asked my dad to come and visit us. As far as we could see, WE had been putting all the effort into our mending relationship. We needed to see some reciprocation. Plans were made for a long weekend in February. Plans that never came to fruition. Calls were never made, plans were never reset. The ball was dropped and it just keeps falling. And falling.

So here we are, 3 years later. I haven't spoken with my dad or anyone else in that part of my family. He has never met my daughter. He knows about her thanks to my local paper being online and posting her birth announcement and my brother Googling our name sometime earlier this year. He really doesn't know my son since he hasn't seen him since he was 2 years old.

I actually sat down and started composing an email to him. My subject was "Enough." But I just couldn't send it. I feel like I've always been the one to take the first step. Always quick to forgive and quick to forget. This time I'm just not feeling it. Sure, I miss my dad every single day. I miss the relationship we had. I miss the relationship we should have. The one he should have with my husband, my son, my daughter. I miss my brothers. My stepmom. But they are missing the most. They are missing everything. Years they can't get back. Memories that will never be replayed. So many firsts. So many important days.

So I will continue to wait for him to pull his head out of his ass. It's in there real deep y'all. REAL DEEP. And yes, I will wait for him. Because honestly, I don't think the relationship will ever be mended until he's ready to put some real effort into it. I've put all I'm going to put into it already.

Changes in Lattitude - A look back, part 3

You can read the first two installments to my Changes in Lattitude series here
and here.

When we made our offer on the house in Leakey, they didn't accept it, but we expected that. We went back and forth a couple of times and finally agreed on a price. All of the paperwork was signed and submitted! We were well on our way to our dream - owning a piece of the Texas hill country! That's when the reality hit!


There were so many variables flying around. Would we be able to sell our house in Houston? Where would Brian stay during the week in Houston? Would I be able to get anything besides dial-up Internet at the new house? How would we fit all of our stuff into a smaller house? A house with one less bedroom and no pantry or garage or laundry room. Where would we put all the extra stuff?


In the end, we knew it would all work out. We had faith in our decision. We closed on the new house a little over a month later and started getting it ready for move-in. Getting it ready consisted of cleaning it and um, cleaning it. We bought it furnished, which meant that it came with bare bones stuff like a dusty futon and pressed wood end tables. Mmmm-hmmmmm. Our budget was pretty much shot since we now had 2 mortgages, so needless to say, we couldn't afford to hire an interior decorator ;)


A month later we put our house in Houston on the market. Boy, that turned out to be a long haul. It didn't sell for almost a year.


Everything started to fall into place. One of our first weekends at the house, we met a great couple who had also recently moved to the area from Houston. Meeting them was an unbelievable blessing that we wouldn't fully realize until after we'd completely moved in.

Over the next three months, we would drive back and forth from Houston to Leakey with car and truck loads of our belongings. Sometimes I would stay during the week with BJ while Brian went back to Houston. It was fun and new and exciting.

In November, three months after we closed on the house, we were completely moved in and I was ready to make the transition from living in Houston to living in Leakey, full-time. It was exciting and nerve wracking all at the same time. It was exciting because we'd finally be living our dream, full-time. But making this transition also meant that our family would be separated during the week. Brian would be in Houston during the week, coming home on weekends.


You see, I didn't take into account the loneliness I would encounter after the move was final. I knew it would be hard to be away from Brian, but I never imagined how hard it would be. Those first Mondays are imprinted on my brain forever.

On Mondays, Brian would get up at 4:30 a.m. to make the drive the back to Houston. Most of the time I would get up, make coffee for him, and see him off. I would put on a brave face, but most of the time I would cry myself back to sleep after he left. It was tough in the beginning. But it got easier. And better. Each and every week.

BJ had just turned 3 when we started living in Leakey. He was a little confused and he really missed our old house. I think the hardest and most confusing part was when we'd go back and stay in the "old house" with Daddy in Houston. He just didn't get it. And on the weeks we stayed in Leakey, Brian would tuck him in on Sunday night and tell him he'd see him 4 more night-nights. Each and every night, BJ would talk to Brian on the phone before bed and (and still does) ask "how many more night-nights until you come home, Daddy?" Sigh.

BJ and I kept very busy during the week exploring our new home and we went on so many adventures. We hiked and drove and went to this place and that. All along I wished that Brian was there with us, but we both knew that none of it would be possible if he was anywhere but Houston. The weekends were filled with fun activities with Brian though. Lots of time spent in the river and hiking.

While Brian was always a great dad, he's really shined since we've made the move. He carves out time for us each day for phone calls, mainly at dinner and bed time. BJ loves our "conference calls!" And when he's home, the kids and family time are #1, which is awesome. He is the most "present" dad I've ever known.

So now, it's a little over 2 years later. We've added another child to our family and we just celebrated our 3rd Christmas in our hill country home. Two years and 4 months later, and our life is pretty much the same. Brian comes home on the weekends and we make the occasional 5 hour drive back to Houston to visit family. We look forward to holidays when we know he'll be able to spend a little more time at home. I still long for the day when we will all be together everyday, but I know it won't happen for a long, long time. Unless we get lucky and win the lottery. But that would mean we'd actually have to play the lottery, right?

I like to joke that we've added years to our marriage by being apart so much! I can say that our marriage is stronger than it's ever been. And it gets stronger every day. Every.single.day.

Y.O., why haven't I posted?

Oh my! It's been awhile, huh? My in-laws are in town and we've been BUSY. Good busy. Fun busy! It's been a wonderful visit with them.

On Saturday we were invited to a swank gingerbread decorating party at the Y.O. Ranch (one of BJ's classmates is a daughter of one of the brothers that own it) and it was FUN! BJ has a blast and ate more candy than he's probably ever had in his entire life. As a matter of fact, he'll probably never get to eat candy again. After lunch at the chuckwagon (I know!!!), we busted BJ eating icing out of someone else's bowl. I'm certain all of his teeth are going to rot and fall out any day now.

But more importantly, the adults had fun! It was great watching all the kids create beautiful gingerbread houses. Plus we got a mini-tour of the ranch, which is unbelievable! And the sweet lady who invited us, Lori, who happens to be a good friend of mine, invited us back to her home for another tour and some snacks and tshirts. My inlaws (and Brian) really enjoyed the day. We saw some neat exotic animals including a mommy and baby giraffe!

My mother in law and Mia

BJ and my brother in law - Uncle Adam

This handsome fellow acted as DJ for the event!

Later that night, after a delicious italian dinner at our favorite local eatery, we opened Christmas gifts with the inlaws. It was a great appetizer to Christmas!

Look! A nice, out of focus shot of me! Thanks Brian!!

She's a gift, that Lovey!